ambivalence

When has an easy decision ever been
easy
easy?
never easy

heart vs. mind
brain vs. soul
indecision hits you from behind
takes it's toll

wearing you down
wearing
down
welcome
to stress mountain
the sign says near the town
leaning near the fountain

no one caring enough to straighten it
decrepit
man, you know he's fakin' it.
creases on his face echo it

always there, subconscious
or conscious
back of the mind
front of the mind
you can't escape it
distraction can't
do away with it

surety
too high a price
clarity
roll of the dice
purity
passed it long ago

happiness
which is more important
priorities a mess
yours, mine, ours, i can't
decide

yours;
lose myself to us
facade of being
happy, on the surface.

mine;
all i can do is apologize
self loathing
becomes embedded inside

ours;
improbable
nigh impossible
i am not able

i am the source of the indecision
it is i who has to make the decision
say the words, make the incision
slip aside, avoid the collision

i don't know....

help
me
please